What a delightful and brilliant idea the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC) has come up with! Going on strike to protest the escalating cost of living and fuel subsidies removal, while simultaneously asking us to stock our houses with food and essential items. Truly, a stroke of genius!
You see, it’s not like we’re all living in a utopia with overflowing bank accounts and unlimited resources. Oh no, we must be missing the memo that says money magically falls from the sky, allowing us to stock our pantries like a fantasy supermarket.
But fret not, dear NLC, for your infinite wisdom shines through! We shall all embark on this grand adventure of not going to work, while simultaneously surviving on thin air and wishes. Who needs money to buy groceries when we can simply admire the empty shelves in our homes?
I mean, who needs to eat, right? Hunger is just a state of mind. We can all live on the sheer willpower and determination that comes with going on strike. And of course, our hunger pangs will be silenced by the sweet melody of our stomachs growling in protest.
Why, oh why, didn’t we think of this sooner? Let’s all unite in solidarity with the NLC and show the world how to fight for the masses by collectively starving ourselves. Because nothing says “protest” like sacrificing our well-being and basic needs!
So, dear NLC, we salute your ingenuity and foresight. Your call for a strike is truly awe-inspiring. Who needs money to survive, right? We shall all march forward with empty pockets and growling stomachs, proudly declaring our allegiance to the cause!
But alas, for some of us mere mortals, the reality of living hand-to-mouth prevents us from joining this grand crusade. So, with heavy hearts and empty wallets, we bid farewell to the NLC’s brilliant strike plan, for it is a privilege we cannot afford.