Tems speaks on toxic love, says obsessive relationships not real love

Grammy-winning Nigerian singer, Tems, has shared personal insights into a past toxic relationship, revealing that she once mistook possessiveness and obsession for genuine love.

The “Essence” crooner made the disclosure during a candid interview with American media personality, Angie Martinez, where she reflected on the emotional toll of being in a relationship that contradicted her understanding of healthy partnership.

According to Tems, the relationship she experienced was marked by excessive control and possessiveness, which she later realized was not love but an unhealthy attempt at ownership.

“I have experienced love where I thought it was love but it was more like when someone is trying to own you. They think that they own you. And that’s not love,” she said.

The singer emphasized that genuine love should be rooted in mutual respect and partnership rather than control. She explained that true love does not seek to dominate or possess another person.

“Love is not an obsession. And it is not possession. I can’t own another human being. Love is when both of you become one person. We don’t own each other, we are each other,” she added.

READ ALSO: Tems, Burna Boy set new African record with most entries on Billboard hot 100

Tems further noted that toxic relationships can be emotionally draining, particularly because the partner exhibiting toxic traits may not even recognize their behavior as harmful.

“I feel everyone has experienced toxic love with someone who doesn’t even know that they are toxic. They say they love you but they don’t know that they don’t even love you. Because you can’t love someone you feel you own,” she explained.

Her comments have since sparked conversations on social media about emotional boundaries, self-awareness, and the importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns in relationships.

Tems, known for her soulful sound and introspective lyrics, has often drawn from personal experiences in her music, and her latest revelation offers a glimpse into the life lessons shaping her journey both as an artist and as an individual.