Linda Vs Wizzy: Are we not entertained?

I like to state this categorically before you delve into the article therein, “it is now a fact that beefs, scandals don’t really tarnish the careers of Nigerian celebrities”.

So it happens that blogger Linda Ikeji and Wizkid have been embroiled in a war of words over the last few days. A certain ‘investigative’ report by her bloggerness, Linda Ikeji, a couple of days ago kicked-off the latest episode of the blockbuster Nollywood comedy (or action film?) Lin’ Baby vs Wizzy Baby Loke Loke perhaps directed by the superstar who gave us Beyoncé & Rihanna, which starred Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde opposite Nadia Buari.

In this epic real life fight, Ikeji, on her (in)famous blog, exposed Wizkid for passing off a rented Lekki apartment as his, hence flooding the internet with his lies since 2013 . And frankly, Linda the Good couldn’t take that like an enraged Orubebe! So many celebrities have come against Ikeji over her itchy fingers’ need to peddle “gossip” and “untruths” about them: Eva Alordiah, Jim Iyke, Olamide, Toke Makinwa, Toni Payne, Susan Peters and the list goes on and on… But this latest episode in the Linda file involving Wizkid has history.

Flashback to 2015, Linda reports that StarBoy, despite collecting an N8.9m performance fee, failed to show up at a gig hosted by American University, Yola, Adamawa State. Without allegedly running the hot gist through Wizkid’s team to, at least, confirm or disprove the report, the ‘publish’ button was clicked and this triggered disgust in Wizkid.

The bad blood continued in January 2016 when Linda reported the news of the arrival of Wizkid’s alleged second kid with new baby mama, American model, Binta Diamond Diallo.

Although it should be noted that Linda didn’t ‘break’ the news; US-based Instagram page owned by a Nigerian-American The Shade Room, did. Unfortunately, Linda bore the brunt days later. She was the ready-scapegoat for Wizkid’s wrath to feast on, and less than a month he got his pound of flesh. Ikeji posted photos of a Hermes bag on Instagram and her followers questioned its authenticity. Taking umbrage, the blogger went as far as sending photos to the design company itself to help validate her buying power. At this point a disgusted entrepreneur, Ifedayo Agoro, wrote an opinion piece, diagnosing Ikeji with “poverty mentality”, symptoms being her constant need to show off her newly acquired wealth. Wizkid’s day was made! His own itchy fingers tweeted a link to the opinion, tagging it ‘nice read’.

He didn’t stop there, however. He went on Snapchat to highlight the “poverty mentality” diagnosis. Linda not being one to back down from a good fight, returned with her own jab. She posted a story about American rapper The Game not being a deadbeat, and added this mighty shade: “unlike a deadbeat father who hasn’t started to cater for his child.” Cold! She would later delete the phrase. The latest episode in the drama can be better described as two children sitting in their shit and using same as weapons. It’s utterly disgraceful! But for the pop culture enthusiasts and gossip peddlers (how ironic that a gossip peddler becomes the subject for gossip?), it’s time to encircle the ring, bring out the popcorn and settle down for some epic mudslinging. How prosaic, inane and unmemorable are their insults and comebacks? “Oh, you are a slut”, Wizzy with the first blow before raining down more (weak) jabs:

“You’re an old hag.” “I make more money than you and your entire household.” “I am still balling.” Linda returns with some strong punches and even tries for a knockout: “Shh. You think you’re successfulmake I no snitch sha.” “You’re a child.” “Leave me before I mess up your career.”

Usually, when two adults ‘off pant’ and throw punches in public, we phone-in the shrink and maybe a noble marabout. But, these days, Snapchat be on fire! We bring out our phones and tweet away the folly of our celebritiesaren’t they entertainers after all? Virtual popcorn be selling out, mehn! Wizkid attacking Linda Ikeji over an “unconfirmed” report was puzzling. If you wish to refute “untrue” claims, why not get your phone since you love it so much and tweet/Instagram your house (old or new) as petty’s the new cool? Why not switch from banal comebacks like “I am richer than your father” to, say, putting up real evidence to counter the allegedly fake one. Is that not more sensible, in no less petty, a thing to do? Or at best maintain a respectable silence? Get better comebacks! In this age where a woman’s worth isn’t linked to how many men have screwed her or how her vagina’s no more gold; celebrities should get their brains and act together. A woman’s body doesn’t make for a good joke. And a gossip peddler threatening to release incriminating stuff does make for ‘nice read’ these days. Nigerian celebrities really need to up their A game on and stop attacking every ‘hater’. Be sensible in your reaction to criticism or fake gossip or actual insults. Seriously, if you want to do ‘entertainment’, do it right without stale comments on body parts, age, childish “I will end you career” jabs.

Either way, the joke’s on Wizkid and Linda Ikeji. As usual, we are just here to be entertained.