Dirty Old Daddy: What three-way sex costs this APC Senator will make you blush

The stink of a private sin popping into the open won’t plague APC Sen. Ibrahim as much as it will the Ibrahims

By Olusegun Elijah

There’s no limit to what you can do if you’re a senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria earning N45 million every quarter—just  for kicking your heels, and nodding off while a smarter kid sits in the cubicle, a gavel in his hand, purring ”The nays have it!” each time the House wants to spar with Aso Rock.

If you are lucky to get your feet in that red chamber, rest assured you have money, power, and influence. Plenty of them.

So nothing—absolutely nothing—stands in your way

This three-time governor and sharia champ, with a foot in the grave at 67, just had something of a selfie in his birthday suit, with two cuddle bunnies about college age.

The threesome happened inside his pigsty of a playboy mansion in Abuja.

Many taxpayers(except Yobe APC) think that was disgusting—and adulterous of a husband of three—and a mockery of good leadership the APC promised Nigerians—and something for which Abubakar Shekau could tear the senator limb from limb.

But the ranking senator simply owned up—not because he repented.  He did that to call your bluff—all you voyeurs.

“This is a personal, private matter,” he told the Premium Times. “What does my having been with a girl have to do with the public?”

He’s done it. And he’s going to get by.

As always.

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The first thing this cradle snatcher did was dismissed the haram—a sexual kink Ibrahim and those anti-West cokeheads love to hate. “If they say I raped a girl, that would be a different thing altogether,” he said. Meaning: a senator that plays the lead actor in an X-rated video that goes viral is more tolerable than the one that rapes a 10-year-old.

That’s out-of-the-box advocacy thinking.

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And Ibrahim, incidentally, was a first-class graduate of Ahmadu Bello University. Getting the hangs of a threesome, and defending its morality, can never be more easy-peasy. He must have also studied up on, and followed on Facebook, porn icons like Afro Candy to be this hot.

Backing up his “it’s-my-life” defence, the senator came up with another excuse: memory failure. He said he couldn’t remember when he had the fling. Maybe he gets this earthy many times weekly, and can no longer keep records of it. Some, trying to help him jog his memory, say he did it during the holy month. But the two-minute sex video hit the internet a week after Ramadan.

Anyhow, Nigerians already got the setting.

The plot also matters.  

If it didn’t make your eye bleed when you saw it, the soft-core flick showed you what a 67-year-old stud looks like in the after-glow of an orgy: a huge beer gut drooping over a crotch which has lost its musculature; and triceps that have lost their tone, leaving behind big mushy hips like those of his two bed warmers’ put together.

You can only wonder how he got it up in the first place, let alone the staying power for a roll in the hay with two crummy kid prossies.

Well, he had a swell time.

Whatever anybody says, Alhaji Ibrahim is no longer out to be a Mahatma Ghandi.

The senator loves his private vices.

And he doesn’t care a rap if that’s what posterity remembers him for.

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Thanks to Sahara Reporters that helped in archiving the peep show. All the Ibrahims—three hajiyas, including Nigeria’s foreign affairs minister; daughters; sons; daughters-in-law; sons-in-law; grandchildren—can now view their pop starring in a sexcapade on You Tube. They can also review how their husband and father and father-in-law and gramp loafed about starkers after a wham-bang bonking session with two sex fiends.

And Premium Times will give them the audio, too. They can hear over and again their patriarch jabbering he had no regret swinging his family jewels in front of a camera during a three-way.

That’s the least you can do if you a senator in Nigeria’s Eighth Assembly—a bunch of chartered libertines going crazy with power.

Ibrahim’s colleagues in the Senate have their own peculiar lust, too.

Take Sen. Dino Melaye for instance. The APC Kogi West senator threatened to impregnate an older female colleague, Sen. Remi Tinubu, during a debate on the floor last year. One of their counterparts, an ex-governor and sharia fanatic, Sen. Ahmed Yerima, loves them young. He shelled out $12 000 some years ago to purchase a 12-year-old Egyptian girl. The 57 year-old Zamfara senator had planned to fatten the lass (with Nigeria’s milk and honey) until she’d be fleshy enough for him to wolf down.

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There’s always an uproar following these scandals.

But the lawmakers have no shame about it. No apology, either.

And the Senate never considers any of these crass enough to be referred to its ethics and privileges committee.

These state-sanctioned Casanovas are even rooting for legislation on that—that nobody should through social media comment on their debauchery; that it’s their private affairs.

And they have no scruple saying it.

Which makes it appear there is an upside to what sex-tape scandals do for the senators. It doesn’t shame them as many expect. It rather gives them guts. That’s why they outface Nigerians when the dirty wash of their underpants seeps to the open.  Sen. Ibrahim must have got a lot of balls to have fessed up—not singing “‘Twasn’t me” like the Omega Fire Ministry’s Apostle John Suleiman and other playboys manqué busted.

This brusqueness, however, bothers many of the taxpayers.

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Yet there’s little they can do about it because Nigeria’s legislature has become a law unto itself.

Unfortunately, those who know these senators’ numbers—the Boko Haram terrorists—are no taxpayers. The dread of the mujahidin alone is purging enough. Yobe, Borno, and Adamawa became what they are now—a mock Islamic caliphate dangerous for politicians to sate their lust—thanks to suicidal protests by youth against the hypocrisy of Ibrahim and others.

It’s now a bloody play-off between extreme poverty and wanton opulence.

The politicians have succeeded in stretching a section of the voters in the northeast to the breaking point. Nothing will stop them doing it in other regions.

And then a big mass revolt erupts.

Except randy Sen. Ibrahim and others in the Eighth Assembly shape up.