Today, there are more than eight thousand online dating services around the world. And every third inhabitant of the planet has used such a site at least once. At the same time, the percentage of marriages that happened due to meeting on dating services is relatively small — about 17%. What’s the reason for that?
Despite the fact that the classic dating sites of the modern type have been around since 1995, when Match.com launched, millions of people have not learned how to use them properly. Many choose a self-defeating strategy, waste time and, as a result, never find their soulmate. Indeed, not everyone even manages to simply have a normal conversation with another user
The main problem is that not everyone understands the specifics of communication on dating sites and apps. Some use them as ordinary social networks, some register and just wait for dozens of interesting people to suddenly start writing to them, while some, on the contrary, become too intrusive and only put other users off.
We thought we’d help out with some useful tips on how you can improve communication on dating sites and thereby increase the chances of a fruitful meeting. Enjoy!
Top recommendations for online dating
To begin with, it’s worth saying that the modern sphere of online dating is represented not just by classic sites and applications. There are also random cam chats, built-in functions for dating in social networks, themed forums, and more. We’ve tried to collect the most common recommendations on how to improve communication on the Internet. But keep in mind that some of them are more applicable to certain types of online sites.
Tip 1. Don’t create a fictional persona on the web and don’t start with a lie
The temptation to embellish your online personality a little to get more attention can be very strong. According to statistics, most people lie a little about themselves on dating sites. But sometimes lies reach unacceptable proportions. Someone else’s profile photos, a completely fictional biography, fantastical life stories — all of these ruin any prospects for a successful relationship.
Remember that the truth will come out in any case if you continue to communicate with your chat partner. And if you don’t have a goal to meet and develop a relationship, what’s the point at all?
Tip 2. Ask open-ended questions that encourage a detailed answer, and not ones you wouldn’t want to answer yourself
Questions like “How are you?” and “What are you doing?” usually quickly lead to a dead end. You should learn to ask questions that imply further discussion of the topic. For example, “Which country would you like to visit and why?” or “What is your most vivid memory?”
The second part of this advice — don’t ask questions that you would not want to answer for yourself. For example, “Why did your previous relationship fail?” or “How do you feel about your ex right now?” A lot of people don’t like talking about stuff like this, and will most likely try to avoid the conversation.
Tip 3. If you communicate via random cam chat, make sure that you can be seen and heard clearly, and nothing extraneous appears in the frame
When using Chatspin, VideoChat.chat or any other cam chat random, try to make the other user feel comfortable talking to you. Check your internet speed, adjust your lighting, wipe down your camera, and clean your microphone if necessary. Believe me, a bad picture and sound can spoil the whole impression you’re trying to give.
Also, to avoid anything that might distract your chat partner — other people walking behind you, the cat doesn’t close your connection, and there aren’t mountains of garbage on your table that haven’t found their way into the trash.
Tip 4. If possible, learn about the interests of the other person from their profile, and focus on these topics
On most modern dating sites, you can find out a lot of useful information on user profiles: hobbies, interests, education, preferences in music and cinema, etc. Use this. The more you know about the person before the first conversation, the better it will go.
Here we can add another recommendation: put details about yourself in your profile on dating sites. The more relevant and important information you provide, the higher your chances of getting other users interested. No one will be the first to write to someone with an empty profile.
Tip 5. Show the other user that you are an interesting and multifaceted person, but do not overdo it
Many people try so hard to learn more about the other person and show such interest in them that they completely forget to explain about themselves, their interests, tastes and life experience. As a result, the other person does not see much point in continuing to communicate with a person who has not inspired their imagination.
Do not be afraid to talk about your achievements, and don’t be shy about unusual hobbies and interests. Show that you are not just any other person that they might pass any day on the street. If you manage to stand out at the first meeting and demonstrate your originality, the chances of continuing communication and developing relationships will increase many times over.
Tip 6. Learn to listen, not just talk
This advice kind of contradicts the previous one, but not quite. There are people who talk all the time, and can’t bear to allow even short pauses in the conversation. But believe us, this can be very tiring and annoying to the person listening.
Try to catch your breath every once in a while. Let the other person speak, don’t interrupt. And if you want to say something or add something on the topic under discussion, wait until the other person finishes their thought. Nobody likes overly talkative people who do not know how to listen at all, but only wait for their turn to speak.
Tip 7. Try to transfer communication from text chat to video whenever possible
Granted, for many of us, texting is more comfortable and easier than video communication. But the longer you text and do not change the format of communication, the lower the chances of a real meeting become. Sooner or later, both you and the other person will simply get tired of this, and the topics for fun and engaging text messaging will be exhausted. And then the communication will fade away, never turning into anything more.
Don’t delay your first online date. It will help you better understand whether it is really worth continuing to communicate with this person and trying to develop something more offline. Or if it’s better to switch and try your luck with someone else before you give each other false hopes.
Online dating gets easier with time
Finally, we want to give one more small but very important piece of advice. Do not worry if at first conversations on a dating site or in random webcam chat are awkward and you’re shy. This is completely normal. Only a few easily find a common language with new people. The rest of us need time.
To make online dating easier and more comfortable, we recommend using random chats. Short video conversations with random people help you relax, feel more confident and overcome the fear of the unknown before making a new acquaintance. And after a few such conversations you’ll just not recognize yourself, we guarantee!