10 thoughts on the 2016 padded Olympics

We’re only a few days into the Olympics. The only people who seem to be truly watching the Games are the media. Although many are following the games in their own ways. EDIALE KINGSLEY Write

1. To Nigerians the Olympics is mostly viewed the same way kids view documentaries. We feel awfully left out of our duties. Which is suppose to be that jobless jury on the couches criticizing the jobfull guys at the Olympics.
2. Do you have trouble understanding a friend of yours who only enjoys TV series by missing lots of episodes intermittently? Nigerians enjoy the Olympics by skipping lots of the broadcast. Why? Well, for a start, out of the 28 sports featuring in the 2016 edition of the games, Nigeria will feature in just 8. I hope this tells you a lot about that friend of yours and his TV series ( especially the Telenovellas ).
3. The optimist sees a half empty cup, half full. The Nigerian optimists sees the Olympics as a show that won’t distract us from the ”padding budget cases” and “Saraki’s Trials”.
4. Olympics was only good at Atlanta 1996. When the heartless Kanu and his gang defeated Argentina for gold, as a kid I was free to break all the laws only adults could break: I slept in my neighbours house, on the bed of my childhood crush. That was the only night no doors or gates was closed throughout Nigeria and the Police had no single case of reported robbery. What a night!
5. If Dalung is minister of sports after the Olympics games, I will send a forgive me note to GEJ. True Confession: I voted him out for retaining the late Stephen Keshi ( against the odds of that times ). May the lord forgive us our sins.
6. You may have missed this, but a Nigerian already won Gold in the current 2016 Olympics. Regina George won Gold for herself. You didn’t know because she did it just before the games started. She racked in $4000 with GoFundMe. Just before she was disqualified. How much do you think a Nigerian Olympian gets for winning a gold medal?
7. A Nigerian trekked from Lagos to Kaduna to celebrate Buhari’s victory at the last electoral polls. Tell me he is in the team in Rio. Tell me he will win Gold in the long distance sports. Well, I guess that would be telling me a lie. And you don’t like telling lies. Cos you are the man that did the trekking ( without a recorded witness ). Ok, I believe.
8. D’banj will sing at the closing ceremony of the Olympics. Thank God, we are not totally disgraced. Our shine is in the arts…not sports. Wait you said G’bert’? Oh Gilberto, thats a Brazilian performer. Mischievous you!
9. I bet we can pad the Olympics medal table. We are Nigerians. If we believe, we can. Well, I guess not in this case. Why? We already padded. We had only one slot to pad. How? The percentage of foreign-based slash American-Nigerians against the ‘true’ Nigerians that makeup our Olympic team is…well, lets say ‘amazing’.
10. Who cares how many medals we win in this Olympics? The Avengers! Who doesn’t care? The Government. How? The former is in dire need of people with energy and committment to join the course. The later has figured how sporting glory didn’t favor GEJ.