By Gertrude Ogbolu
Universally, two individuals make up a partner. Therefore, choosing the right partner is the most vital in a relationship.
How, then, do you choose the right partner?
First, you must seek the face of God; He alone brings the right partner.
It takes a lot of time and energy to get to the stage of relationship and what follows afterwards.
Don’t choose a partner because the individual is attractive or rich. It’s not advisable.
Always seek for the heart; the one who makes you happy; shares your problems with you; come Rain come Shine.
Another tempting factor is finance; with hard work and determination you can reach your goals and cater for the family….. No worries.
Ways of choosing the right partner:
Choosing a life partner could be in these forms: Parents’ consent, Association, Wealth, Long date relationship, Individual consent (Genuine love), out of pity (Sympathy) relationship, etc.
Making a wrong choice in life partner is the worst disaster that can happen to a person. So, it is very important we choose wisely in order to avoid situations like these. Many a time, mistakes of choosing the wrong soul mate often cause broken homes, marriages, hurt, sorrow and others.
People quickly fail to take the right steps in life in order not to cause confusion in marriages. Problems and difficulties could occur in marriages, it takes virtuous hearts to overcome trials.
It’s sometimes so frustrating and divesting when an individual chooses the wrong partner. Oh! Hell! You don’t know how it feels like because you have to live with this person for the rest of your life, seeing him/her every minute of your life, for better for worst. The least any person could do is to seek a divorce, which is not necessarily good.
Below is Highlight of the ways of choosing a partner:
This occurs when the parents choose for the child who to marry without the child’s consent. In rural society, where parents choose for the children who to get married to, neglecting the children feelings, if they find interest in the person brought to them or not, parents have refused to realize that doing this Arranged matching does not work as it has its advantages and disadvantages.
The society of our days believes in the word “Benefit” where the Rich only marries the Rich, forgetting there is more to that. In any relationship the four letter word LOVE is the key to any Healthy relationship after that comes UNDERSTANDING. You can have the Wealth in this world but can’t buy peace. Let’s try and build love, develop a positive mind.
This category combined with the influence of both parents/partners are involved. It could be political, religion, position, business etc whereby, the parties involved are just after the benefits and not affection, thereby trading with their relationships and feelings.
LONG DATE RELATIONSHIP
It is not how long the relationship lasts but how you have been able to conquer all odds while dating and getting to the peak of your relationship, which if well nurtured could lead to the Alter. Long dating is not a guarantee for marriage. The important issue is – are we compatible? Do we understand each other? Is there trust? Do we love ourselves? Do we have forgiving spirit? Choice wisely.
Many a times, we aim at rendering help to individuals but indirectly hurting ourselves. We should have this in mind, relationship is not charity. Relationship deals with the mind and work with the soul. Human soul is fragile; so don’t toy with it else the repercussion is unimaginable. Some folks will say “I have dated these person for a long time; I just can’t let go” or this person has been nice to me; no! This, is not a enough reason to marry the person.
These are individuals who believe and share the same dreams, ideas, understanding, having the same Chemistry and most of all let Love lead. These individuals must have gone through so many challenges during the period of dating and have been able to conquer all odds, then decide to settle down as Husband and wife. We find t that most times, couples like these hardly have broken homes because they love and understand each other better.
So, ensure that your partner is who you want to share the rest of your life with; do not gamble with your relationship and feelings else it will land you were you never want to be. A broken heart is very difficult to repair; beware. Also, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. In the society we live, 60 per cent homes and marriages are broken or separated; all out of ignorance of our people.