Comfort to Entitlement

By: Leymah R. Gbowee

In our home, our children have gotten so used to walking into our bedroom without knocking. Some mornings, the entire crew will step in, grab the remote to the AC, and turn it off with the complaint that “the room is too cold.”

Our 14-year-old was home for Christmas and refused to sleep in her bedroom; she slept on the couch of our room. When I complained, she said, “I am technically not sleeping in your bedroom; I am sleeping in the sitting area.” I looked at my husband, and he whispered, “What will we do?”

The kids are so comfortable walking in our room at any time; I believe they don’t see a door mentally.

One day, one daughter decided she wanted to continue a conversation from the lunch table in the room; I wasn’t having it. I came up, my husband followed, and I locked the door as soon as he entered. She confidently walked to the door, turned the knob, and said, “Oh, this room has a lock?” I answered, “Yes, and I will be using it moving forward.” She stood for a while, expecting my husband to open the door —that didn’t happen.

I was sitting recently reflecting on the level of comfort these children have when it comes to our bedroom and realized that we never really established boundaries when they were growing up. As young adults, they don’t see the need for boundaries. This is the same with many folks; you give them an opportunity once, twice, thrice, and it becomes a pattern, and eventually, they see it as an entitlement.

What comfort zone have you created with folks that have inadvertently turned into an entitlement? How do we fix this progression from comfort zone to entitlement? We do not have an answer or a solution for our bedroom and our co-tenants. But the lesson is never to allow anyone to get so comfortable in your space, with your money, time, and resources, that they begin to feel entitled.

Beware, comfort can lead to entitlement.