Like United, Like Liverpool: 12 Things we learn in Barca match against Liverpool

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By Ediale Kingsley
1. So niggaz said they are not Manchester United. They said we can’t humble them. That Liverpool is this and that.
2. For that reason. Barca would score the same number of goals United collected. 3-0.
3. So how are they any better than United?  A same number of goals conceded. Messi scored 2 against United. Did same against Liverpool.
4. They missed it. They don’t know Camp Nou and the stories. Barca is not your mate. Don’t be silly.
5. I could be gay for this night:
— Kissing Ter Stergen for winning the Best Goal Keeper award tonight.
— Loving Messi for being both a midfielder and a striker as usual. Something he does so simple.
— Hugging Vidal for being the rock and beating the EPL soldiers to their game of physicality.
— Jordi Alba! I don’t know any buy better than him. I would dash the scouts N150 each for spotting this talent. He is the best buy since the purchase of Ivan Rakitic (Rakitic is the reason I know Barca will Liverpool. I will explain his secrete duties some other day).
— Romancing Suarez. He is a scorpion. He bites when he sees the opening.
— I’d just make love to others. Awesome Pique,  Improved Semedo, Utility Roberto, Uncommon Busquet, Sweet Linglet.
6. Coutinho and Dembele. 2 Attackers yet to reach their full potentials. So we have Suarez as the only effective 9. And Messi is suppose to use them as dummies to be super 10 and false 9 (actually 8).
7. So Liverpool needs 4 unreplied goals to stop Barca from progressing in the next stage. If they win 4-1, Barca qualifies.
8. It’s a Barca vs Ajax Final. Can we just forget about the second leg and go to Atletico Madrid’s stadium for the final Next week? And save Klopp and the Association of Barca Enemies the pain and embarrassment?
9.  A Messi without one leg and one eye is worth far more than Salah and Mane put together.
10. I am serious if I run a football club today and Messi gets an accident tomorrow (God forbid). That damages his one eye and one leg. I will still sign him.
11.Seriously, I will.
12. Messimism for life!