Messi 6, Ronaldo 5: Unravelling the mavericks

The Messi – Ronaldo rivalry is a football rivalry between the Ronaldists (fans of Portuguese forward Cristiano Ronaldo) and the Messimists (fans of Argentinian forward Lionel Messi) and supposedly between the athletes themselves. Having won a combined eleven Ballon d’Or/FIFA Ballon d’Or awards (six for Messi and five for Ronaldo), both are widely regarded not only as the two best players of their generation, but also, by many in the sport, including players, writers, and fans, as the greatest of all time (GOAT) or the greatest of all there will ever be (GOAT-WEB).

There’s a story many see as the mythology that attempts to unravel the mystery of the player called Lionel Messi. But it doesn’t end there, while the Messimists (Messi’s fans and followers) told their own story. Fans of Cristiano Ronaldo also told theirs. Enjoy both stories as written by Ediale Kingsley:

In the beginning, the Creator created the creative one. He was to be named Maradona. Mara meaning bitterness and Dona referring to oppositions. The creator created him to bring bitterness to any opponent that challenges him. He grew to be just that. In the pitch, Maradona caused mayhem to the opposing sides. He wasn’t the tallest, but he had the tallest records of people he brought down. When he played, the gods smile, the people rejoiced and the creator was entertained.

Maradona was to be the greatest footballer the world would ever know. The creator said, ‘I will make Maradona a dwarf to humble the proud mighty’. But Maradona was warned by the creator not to be proud and he was not to eat, drink or inhale the forbidden powder. But the people worshipped Maradona to a point he became proud. The creator wasn’t happy so he placed a curse on Maradona, ‘You will never win a Champions League’. Vexed by the curse, he sank and bathed in the forbidden powder. And gradually, his immortality vanished and so also his ball brilliance.

The creator, gods, and the people were all unhappy. No more divine entertainment! So the gods went to have a meeting with the creator concerning this matter.

The people also sent a scientist called Pioki to an alien land called Alix Portux Galaxy. Far into space, near Pluto. This was a secret mission sponsored by the then U.S President, Ronald Reagan , on behalf of the people of the world.

Pioki was able to find an alien called Oroiiro. He was brought to earth and named Ronaldo (a combination of the dominating O sound in his alien name and the name of the project sponsor). The scientist gave him the best of the human body and looks. And programmed him to talk and play football. Then secretly planted him into a small Portugal family. The creator and gods knowing what humans have done decided to send another Maradona. This time it will be one of the gods. They can’t trust another creatively created human.

Who will go?

The god of speed had the interest to go. Also, the god of strength obliged to be sent. But the creator picked the god of soccer. For other gods, like Maradona can score with the hand of god. Only the god of soccer can score with the head of god — exactly what we saw in the Barca-ManUnited UCL final.

While Maradona was an extrovert, this god was an introvert. He was planted in Argentina but he will be far in Spain. So the worshippers of Maradona won’t corrupt him. So he could learn humility from the Catalonia people.

While Cristiano Ronaldo was perfect, this god would come with a great defect. A bad leg. A deliberate handicap to show class above humans. He was named Messi from MESSI-age (for he was a message to the people to always wait for the creator for divine help).

Leo Messi had a forerunner, a Johnadinho the Baptist, a Brazilian named • Ronaldinho •. While Ronaldinho Gaúcho baptized the opponents and defenders with water bending skills. Messi was coming to baptize defenders and opponents with fire.

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This is the story. Messi is the fire and air bender. He moves and the football pitch shifts. Messi has been a blend of magic and maverick. A maestro, magician and a superhero all in one. Superman had Kryptonite as his weakness, Messi’s Kryptonite is the forbidden powder. That’s why he will never go near it! Same way Adam was to stay away from the forbidden fruit.

And Cristiano Ronaldo is seen as alien number 001. He’s defied all logic. He has always defied elements. So we are getting used to having him do his thing. Let’s have a quick look at the list of elemental laws he has rubbished:

— laws of gravity defied.

— laws of diminishing returns defied.

— special theory of relativity defied.

Old age has meant stronger goal toes for him.

They often say these body parts as listed below makes a perfect footballer:

— Xavi’s microscopic eyes,

— Zlatan’s built-for-fitness body,

— Messi’s sniper left foot,

— Cruyff’s pythagorean brains,

— Vieri’s powerful chest,

— Koeman’s muscular upper legs,

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— Beckham’s controlling right foot,

And…

— Cristiano Ronaldo’s neck.

His neck is an amazing weapon and key to his powerful headings.

Messi and Ronaldo have dominated the world of football for more than a decade now. And they aren’t retired yet. Meaning we haven’t seen the end of these amazing talents. And we are in to witness more tales of heroism.